Finding Light
by twin15
Summary: Cloud's journey in Kingdom Hearts I. References to KH1, FFVII, and Advent Childern. Will he ever find his light?
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_(A/N: There are some qoutes in here that I used from the game/movie. They are not mine. I'm pretty sure I labeled all of them but I could be wrong.)_

_Summary: Cloud's adventure during Kingdom Hearts I. Will he ever find his light?_

_

* * *

__A blurry face smiled at Cloud._

"_Who are you?" He asked. Just answer that. Please. Something to go on. Please._

"_Who am I? You've forgot?" A female voice called. It was sweet sounding, like honey. A scent carried to his nose, flowers…_

_"Who are you?"_

_"Who am I?" He repeated foolishly._

"_You don't know that either?" Came the reply._

"_I'm Cloud."_

"_But who are you **really**?" The voice inquired and a hand touched his heart. He drew in a breath sharply at the touch_

Cloud woke up light piercing his eyes. He blocked the light with his hand trying to remember the dream. Who was that girl? So familiar yet far away. He used to know. But now he didn't know anything. Are you my light? He wondered. Where are you…? He fell back onto his bed falling back asleep.

_Darkness surrounded him. Someone's deep heavy breath breathed all around him. His blade drawn he looked around him. Darkness…Darkness… He couldn't see anything. Where was he? What was happening? _

"_Show yourself!" Cloud growled loudly._

_A laughter came through the air, "Ah… you are so funny, puppet."_

_Cloud hacked away at the blackness, "COWARD!"_

_Pain seared through his arm. _

"_AHHHH!" Cloud screamed gasping his arm. Crimson blood drowning him…_

"_Sephiroth!"_

He woke up with a jolt grabbing his arm. The golden hand starring at him…cold bloodless hand.

"So even the dark assassin has nightmares?" A laugh called.

"What do you want?" Cloud asked coldly facing his employer.

"Did you forget? Today's the big games. It's time for you to go do your job. Now there are some other pip squeaks in the tournament as well. If you could finish them off as well…" The black god said.

"My contract says…"

"I know what it says! I wrote it, damn it!" Hades yelled fury of red and black clashing with his gray god aura, "GO! You've a job to do."

So Cloud went out onto the arena and fought.

The battle was a blur. He had made his way up the games and now he was facing Sora, Donald, and Goofy. He had heard of Sora, had watched him train a few times. He was a youthful lad, yielder of a mysterious key blade. He fought bravely, with strength…. Cloud grinned, but with too much self confidence. He lunged and Sora was barely able to fend off the attack. Suddenly he felt sick. He couldn't kill this boy. Hercules was a grown man and he had made a deal with Hades. But this boy? He had heard tales of the boy who wield the key blade and he wondered if this was right. The boy was far from harmless but he was innocent and kind. Memory seared through his veins of someone else just as innocent and pure. Someone who had died to early. He hesitated. Suddenly something knocked him to the ground and he was unconscious.

When he awoke he realized it. Hades had been using him. Whatever had crushed him was Hades doing. And somehow…somehow he was alive. He closed his eyes feeling something break inside him. A slight piece of light and warmth cradled him. He opened his eyes looking around. The darkness was fading… but still there. Maybe he could still find his light. Maybe the darkness hadn't consumed him completely. A gentle laugh and smile played across his mind, "_Of course there's hope, silly."_

He sat down on the cobblestones of the coliseum. _Light is that you?_

"Hey there!" A voice called. It was Sora.

"Why did you go along with him anyways?" He asked.

"I'm looking for something. Hades promised to help. But I was sucked farther and deeper into the darkness. And I couldn't find the light."

"You'll find it. I'm searching to."

"For your light?"

Sora nodded.

Cloud got up walking away. Maybe he still had hope. (NOTE: above convo w/ Sora from KH. Not own words.)

* * *

Cloud spent the next couple months building a gummmi ship to get away and searched for his light. Then he had traveled world to world in search for his light. He had learned much about the worlds, but little about his light. One day he came upon a busy town.

"Flowers! Flowers here!" Someone called. Cloud turned to see a girl next to him selling flowers.

"Want one?" she said thrusting one at him.

A flash crossed his mind. An image of a smiling optimistic girl played before him.

"I asked if you if you wanted one. Answer me will you?"

"Sorry… you just… I…"

"Do you want one or not?" She said eagerly. Her eyes were dark and angry. He looked at her wondering if she ever sold any flowers with such an angry face about her. She had reminded him of someone. But she was definitly not her.

"You reminded me of someone else, is all."

"Well?" She asked impatiently.

Silence followed. He was tempted. He wondered if it would jog his memory more. But now he couldn't…"No thank you."

She walked away in a huff.

Cloud rubbed his forehead, it ached. He needed sleep. He walked through the town impersonating his best 'back off' look. He didn't want to run into anyone else. Finally he found a local inn and decided to sleep there for the night. He wanted to move on… to continue to piece together the puzzle but his body protested. Finally he gave in. He found a place to stay and went to sleep.

_He stood in a church. The hazy outline of a girl kneeled before the altar._

"_A---?" He called._

_She didn't look up._

_Suddenly a figure descended fast onto the girl. A large sword embedded though her heart._

"_NOOOOO!" Cloud yelled._

_He ran forward but as he went p pick her up she disappeared and he woke up._

Unbidden tears ran down his face. _No… not her. Not his light. Not his l…_ He buried his head in his hands. What were these dreams or memories…? What did they mean? Why couldn't he remember!?! He banged his fist at the wall beside him. _Damn!_ He got up glaring outside the window, the dream washing over him. Just tidbits of a memory. Most were just feelings. Pain, anger, sadness, loneliness, needs, wants…. _Who was he?_

Most memories had been short happy memories. A laugh, smile, a question. Then as Hades had pulled him more and more into the darkness they had become dark and terrifying. Ones of a silver haired man named Sephirorth who destroyed everything with a long sleek sword. A sword that had destroyed her… Was she even alive? He wondered. Was he searching for someone who no longer lived? He needed something… anything.

He wiped his tears away angrily and packed his things and left the room. Time to search another world. He'd find out who he really was, and what his past was.

* * *

Traveling had taught him more than he expected. Back allies were people talked about how strange everything was. Worlds had separated opening gateways to other worlds. Something had obviously happened to his home and he had landed up at the Coliseum. Alone, confused, and with amnesia. The only thing he could remember was that he had to find his light… he had to find _her_. Who ever that was.

He lumbered down the street barely aware of the strange looks they were giving him.

"Are you a soldier?" This one kid said racing up to him.

"A mercenary." A mother said in a disgusted tone. "Don't stop." Shecommanded the kid pulling him away.

Mercenary???? How did she have the right to jump to such a conclusion by his look? Was his face so cold and cruel? Did the world see him as a murderer? Excluding the fact that he had been a mercenary for Hades… He thought suddenly having a flashback. He had been one once… hadn't he? With Hades but before that. A face flashed before him. Dark spiky hair and a confident cocky grin. Pain and hurt washed over him with the image. _I failed him_… his mind thought. Failed him? Failed who? How? Suddenly he wondered if his past was worth remembering.

"I think I can help you." A voice called to him

"I don't need help." Cloud said cooly. His heart was racing and anger filled him as he lost the memories to the darkness of his mind.

"You're looking for someone."

"They aren't here." He answered. What was this some kind of scam? The way people were traveling these days it was common to be looking for someone.

"Of course not. This is the wrong place."

"I figured that on my own thanks." Cloud said wondering why he hadn't just walked away in the first place.

"But how can figure out who you are looking for if you can't remember your past?"

"Not interested." Cloud said turning away.

"His name was Zach."

"Was?" Cloud said, memories piercing his brain.

_"Hi I'm Zach."_

_"I'm 1st class SOILDIER."_

"_We'll get out of here together."_

"_We'll be mercenaries together to get money."_

"_That bullet was meant for me!"_

"_Zach… I promised to live both our lives… Easy promise to make…" (Note: lines from Advent children and FFVII)  
_"How do you know these things?" Cloud asked the memories fading. Pieces… so many pieces…how did the go together?

"Many have been gifted with certain abilities in this new era. Many such as the wielder of the keyblade. Many things are considered possible."

"Listen I've gotten myself in more than one mess already. If you just want money…" Cloud said. Normally he wouldn't have offered such. But the memories were makeing him frazzeled.

"You misunderstand me. I once could not find myself as you do now. It was harsh way to live. Especially when not many know more than you yourself do. They are lost, searching too…"

"I'm not looking for a speech. I'm only looking for answers." He said impatiently. Despite the truth he felt in the man's words he could not accept them.

"I know these things because as a result of my world collapsing certain powers it realized where given to me and many others of my world. We have found each other and have vowed to help those who seek what we once did."

"And?"

"You search for many things."

"I know that."

"Zach is a strong connection to you but he's dead."

"How do you know this?" Not really wanting to believe it.

"You suffer from memory loss but it still all there. You just have to find it. Sometimes… like know just a name brought back certain images. I have the ability to see certain things inside of you. Certain things that are probably are as foreign to me as they are to you right now. But I saw you when that boy approached you. The look in your eyes gave me something of what is hidden. Zach, fighting, death. That is all I saw."

Cloud looked around. Can he trust this person? But who could he really afford not to?

"What am I to do with this?"

"I can not help you out much more. You need to go here." The person said handing him a piece of paper. "There seek out Leon. I have a feeling he will help."

"He is one of your world?"

"No… He is someone I met on my journey. Now hurry! Or fate will pass you by…"

Cloud rushed off and soon he made his way to Traverse Town, searching for Leon. Perhaps it was a scam, a trick. But somehow he knew it wasn't. And if it was… well then maybe he just wasn't meant to find her.

"Cloud!" A voice called out.

He turned finding Sora, Donald, and Goofy walking toward him.

"Have you found your light?" Sora asked.

Cloud shook his head.

"Well… I'm sure you'll find it soon. Is there anything we can do?"

"Actually…" Cloud asked. He didn't want help. But Sora had good intentions, "are you familiar with this town?"

"Yes." Sora answered.

"Do you know anyone by the name of Leon?"

"Yeah, we do!"

"Great can I see him?"

"Actually… he's not here. He's at Hollow Bastion with everyone else.

_Hollow Bastion…? Everyone else…?_

"Great. Can I reach him there? What does he look like?"

Sora described what he looked like and warned him to be careful. Hollow Bastion was a place to be reckoned with. Apparently Sora was preparing for the battle of his life against a dark man named Ansem. The thought of darkness made his mind turn to Sephiroth… an evil enemy for sure but what was their history? Why did his blood run cold and his hands instantly went to his sword at the thought of him?

"Cloud?" Sora asked as Cloud's thoughts scattered.

"Thanks I'll be on my way…" He mumbled heading back to his ship.

(A/N: I hoped you liked! Please R&R!)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Again this one has some qoutes from the games/Advent Childern. None of them are mine.

* * *

Cloud made it to Hollow Bastion and the place was crawling with the beings known as heartless. After making his way up some elevators he made it to the large doors of Hollow Bastion.

He made his way in drawing his sword cautiously.

"What do you want?" Someone called. Cloud noticed a tall brown haired man with his sword pointed at him.

"I'm looking for someone named Leon."

"Is that so? What business do you have with him?"

"I was told to come here by a person I met. I am acquainted with Sora. I come looking for…" Cloud said wondering how to say it with out making a fool of himself. he hated stooping to this level. He hated being helpless, asking others for help.

"I come looking for friends of my past."

"And Leon is one of them?"

"No. I don't think so. But someone said that he could help me find what I seek."

The man pondered this and then put away his sword.

"I am Leon. And I will help you."

"In return for what?"

"We are helping Sora with his mission to find his friends and destroy Ansem. If you can help us with that…"

"…"

"You look exhausted. I know that it must have been a rough journey here. Hollow bastion is not always friendly. I know I told you my name but I do not believe I know who you are."

"I am Cloud Strife." Cloud was hesitant to give out his name. But he needed to rust this man in order to find her.

"Welcome aboard Cloud."

Leon led him to a room, "You should be safe here."

* * *

He slept fitfully. He felt so close to finding his light… finding her. But was this right? Images of Zach, who was almost whole in his memories. The memories of Sephiroth, the memories of the too recent past with Hades. His contract to kill so he could find what he wanted… he tossed and turned more. No… He didn't deserve to live and find his light. He didn't deserve any of this. He had failed Zach, he had failed her. And worse he just felt it… he couldn't remember it. Just this pain in guilt that he carried with him.

"LEON! YUFFIE! I COULD USE SOME ASSISTANCE!" A voice cried out. Cloud scrambled from the bed. The voice…

He grabbed his sword banging the door open. Down the hall heartless swarmed around someone. Large green eyes fixed on him. He felt his whole body stop… could it be? Was it really her? A large heartless leaped at her.

"Ahhhhh…" The girl yelled furiously pulling her eyes away and drawing her staff ready.

_What are you doing!!!!_ He screamed at himself furiously. _HELP_ _HER_!!!!

He ran forward slashing the heartless away. He saw her fall as the last heartless disincarnated. He ran toward her side, breathing hard wondering….

Her clear green eyes roamed his face, confused yet happy.

"You found me."

"I…I did." He said.

Her smiled brightened and she through her arms around his neck, "I'm so happy you're here. I've missed you so much."

"So have I." The words tumbled out of him.

"What's going on…? Cloud?" Leon said appearing, "you know him?"

"Leon! This is Cloud… He lived with us in our world. Before we met you… But he's here! He's here! He found us."

"…" Leon looked away.

"…Cloud?" Another voice called appearing.

"IT'S CLOUD!"

"YIPEEE!" Yuffie yelled jumping on both of them giving them hugs.

"How did you find us?" Yuffie demanded.

"It was a long journey." Cloud answered. Bits and pieces of memories floated to him. Materia knowledge, bits and pieces of a journey they had once undertook together.

"Was it?" Yuffie asked, "Barret and Cid and Vincent will be so glad to see you!"

_Barret…AVALANCHE…. A mission… to save the planet…._

"Is something wrong?" The girl with the green eyes asked.

He looked at her. Remembering more about her…

_Will you be my bodyguard?_

_Be strong, I'll be back when it's all over_

_Let me deal with Sephiroth._

_You want to be forgiven? By who? (Lines from FFVII/Advent Children)_

"It's nothing…" he said still not remembering his whole story.

"I think I know you better than that Cloud Strife."

"…" Great someone knows me better than me. He felt so foolish, so helpless, so…

"You don't remember do you?" She asked softly. Her words cut through his heart, despite how true they were. He had misplaced so much… he remembered so much now… but so many things… gone.

"WHAT!! You forgot the great ninja Yuffie???"

"I have remembered and forgotten many things. I remember Sephiroth and AVALANCHE and our mission. I remember…" His eyes roved back to her. Her, his light…

_But who was she?_ The words stung him and he hated himself… more than he thought he ever could.

"I'm going to tell everyone that you're back." Yuffie said leaving.

"…" Leon turned walking away, leaving the two alone.

"I don't understand. How do you all have your memories and all I have bits and pieces of a dream?"

"I… don't know." She said.

"Are your really here?" He asked suddenly, his fingers reached for her cheek, touching the soft flesh. He was afraid she would flinch but she just smiled.

"Yes. The lifestream warned us that something was going to happen to our Planet… this Planet. Many decided that they would become parts of the planet in order to put it back together. This included Biggs, Tseng, and Zach… The lifestream changed when our world disappeared breaking its hold on many things. I was able to come back and be a human, so I could live out the rest of my life..." She paused thinking of something, "When someone dies they go to the lifestream, you remember?"

"He… Sephiroth… killed you."

She reached her hand to touch his arm, "It was my destiny… and we saved the planet together."

"You saved us when we were plagued by sickness the years after." Cloud remembered.

"I sent the rain, yes." She said, but her voice had changed tones…

"I've hurt you haven't I?" he asked acutely aware of her facial expression, "I'm sorry I can't remember... I was so afraid… I had so many dreams… I was afraid you were dead and I could never see you again. I just feel so…"

"I'm right here." She said interrupting him softly, "And I will wait for you until you remember, as you have waited for me to come back from the lifestream." She said smiling, tears fell down her cheek. She stood, "Come. Let's find a place to chat. Shall I tell you what we've been up to?"

She extended her hand to him and he grasped it firmly. There was hope for him.

She spun her tale about how she met everyone up at Traverse Town. Including Leon. Who was from Hollow Bastion as well but none of them had known him. How they met up with Sora, Donald, and Goofy to help save the worlds. How they made their way back here, to Hollow Bastion. Cloud knew that she wanted to know what his journey had been like but he wondered if she really wanted to hear. She didn't bring up the fact that he couldn't remember certain things and said nothing about telling him what it was like. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear about a life he still couldn't remember clearly.

"I'll take you back to your room." She said finally, "I will see you in the morning."

"Thanks..." He said wishing she didn't have to leave. He just needed to remember. After all this searching and finding he just felt as lost as before, except worse because now he was hurting her.

"Cloud…" She called before she shut his door, "My name… is Aerith…" And then she disappeared. Cloud blinked as she disappeared.

"Aerith…: He whispered wondering how she knew that he hadn't remembered her name. But as the word rolled off his lips he remembered… He then dozed off.

_Crash! BANG! THUD! He landed hard. A pair of green eyes starring at him._

"_Hello, hello! You okay? This is a church in the Sector 5 slums. You suddenly fell on top of me. You really gave me quite a scare." She said._

_Cloud "...I came crashing down?" _

_"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall. You're lucky." _

_"Flower bed... is this yours? Sorry about that." _

_"That's all right. The flowers here are quite resilient because this is a sacred place. They say you can't grow grass and flowers in Midgar. But for some reason, the flowers have no trouble blooming here. I love it here."_

"_I'm Aerth Gainsborough." (NOTE: their Conversation from FFVII game)_

This was the first time they had met… well he had seen her before. She had given him a flower…Suddenly starring at her he realized it… he remembered everything… memories flared some more prominent then others. He grabbed his head. It was painful, emotions, thoughts, actions, rage from one extreme to another… and suddenly he found himself awake.'

He sprang from bed rushing out side. He felt like screaming "I remember! I remember!!!" But he didn't. It was a strange yet euphoric feeling. Some of it was painful memories, others good memories. He had to find Aerith. He come all this way and had finally found his light. He had found _her_. And she was alive and would be with him forever. He had to tell her.

He turned down the halls wondering where he was going. Lost… but it didn't feel like that. Softly he heard someone… crying?

He turned into a garden find Aeris sitting in the grass, a hand to her face.  
"Aerith…?" He called.

"Oh! Cloud… It's you…. I was just sitting out here…" She said her face washing away whatever feelings she had been feeling before.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. It's been such a peculiar and long day. I couldn't sleep so I came out here…"

"You're hurt because I don't remember?"

"Of course not! I love you for who you are no matter if you remember me or not."

…_Love?_

"I remembered." He said dumbly. _Had she really meant that?_ It came so easily off her lips.

"Hmmm?"

"I had a dream. About the first time we met. You remember."

"Like it was yesterday." She said smiling.

"And… then everything else… just came."

She nodded slowly.

"Aerith…?"

"Yes Cloud?"

"I…I…" He stuttered. _God what was this! Damn it! Tell her how you feel_!

"Sit with me would you?" She asked.

He tensed, thinking of sitting next to her… somehow he didn't think that would help his speech but he sat down next to her anyways.

"I remembered everything," He said taking her hands in his, "And I've been searching for you so long. And today just… Listening to you talk about everything that's happen has been wonderful but there something I didn't say. That I should have said earlier."

He was shaking, and realized she was shaking to. Time had seemed endless before but now that he realized how long they had been apart… how long he had waited he couldn't imagine it.

"Aerith I... I love you. And I want to be with you forever. And..."  
Aerith shushed him with a finger to his lips, tears pilling down her cheeks.

"Cloud… I love you. And I've been waiting for those words since the day I met you… I'll be with you forever… I promise…"

Cloud smiled, brighter than he ever had, brighter than when he had laid eyes on her. He leaned in and kissed her wrapping her in his arms. She kissed them back and then snuggled into his embrace.

"Be with me always Cloud." She whispered.

"I promise." He said kissing her again, _my love, my angel, my light_.

* * *

(A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! Please Read and Review!) 


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